Congrats JK on being chancellor of University of Manzese

            Dear readership, I know you are wondering if I am intending to go back to teaching in the universities. Last week delved into education biz. And today I am doing the same. Sweat it not. I am trying to pave way for your kitegemezis to get an education that is worth.

            When President JPM appointed Jake Kiquette the Chancellor of the University of Manzese many eye brawls were raised. Those dissatisfied were many more than those sanctioning the appointment.

            The boozer was overjoyed. There are some logical reasons for the boozer to buy into this technical know who. Firstly, Kiquette is the fella who titivated our education system by appointing his pal J4 Majembe whom Dr. Kanywaji retained not just he is fit but for regional balance and J4 Kawadog.

            Secondly, JK is an educationist who likes to use honorary PhD as real, as if he toiled for it. Why should someone toil for a PhD while pay-up ones are always available from diploma mills? Why should one, especially the high and mighty suffer for a PhD while you can tip someone and offer you a PhD and still use it just like those who toiled for it? This shows how the dude values education to the extent that after his regime packed and jumped into the water, Prof Ndali had to go back to the drawing back. What success for JK who enacted Kata schools that his detractors like to call kataa schools thanks to their underperformance.

            Thirdly, JK is credited for having saved many people from torturing their heads in classrooms. He had a very simple solution. Invest in art and drag stuff and get your dosh and avoid destroying or torturing your medulla oblongata.

            Fourthly, knowing how reading destroys brain, through J4, Kiquette abolished the scores of books students used to read in secondary school. To simplify everything and making it spiffy, J4 decided that students should read a few books those in his fold or call it mtandao if not networks authored and published.  Interestingly, hither qualifications were not the quality of the books but that of who authored it based on technical know-who theory whereby every dosh must go to the members of the fold. For J4 and the power that cloned him benefiting friends even at the expenses of the sons and daughters of boozers was the right thing to do given that they enrolled theirs in the best schools abroad all catered and paid for by the pauperized tax cougher.

            Again, why would they bother while we’ve such wonderful international schools and so-and-so academics whose academic qualifications are nothing but fleecing gullible fat cats as it was recently unearthed that some schools are fleecing up to Tsh Madafu 60 million annually? Given that making dafus in Danganyika aka Bongolalaland is not a tussle after drug peddling was legalized, it was not something to sweat out.  Those who were gullible enough so as to not making dosh, must go hang. Au vipi?

            Knowing the importance of making dosh and paying for education, JK offered some holidays to fisadis, drug barons and thugs whose lists he had but didn’t like to take on them. He knew they needed dosh for footing the bills for their kids. More important, he appointed Kawadog to make things much easier for students to sail through without destroying their heads. Another additional strategy that Dr. JK invented along with ignoring drug pushers was tolerating forgerers.  Under his stewardship, forgery was not a crime that deserved to be deal with. He used to say raha jipe mwenyewe namely make yourself happy by all means even if it meant forging your academic credentials.

            Off-the-cuff comment: One naïve, but pragmatically smart, boozer left us in stitches. He said that JPM offered JKM chancellorship as lull to let him offer him Chama Cha Ulaji’s chairmanship that he needs to not leave any stone unturned. He went on saying that you can’t trap a fish without a bite. Knowing the type of the big fish approaching his nets after getting the baton, Mr. Boil Cleaner aka Mtumbua Jipu had to lull the fish into his traps. Again, we booed and scorned him so much that he ran away and since then he’s never seen at our swallowing joint.

            By the way, does it make sense to ask the pig how to become clean? Sometimes Swahili sage has it that if you want to spare the child. Entrust it or give it to the witch.  Congrats UM aka UDS on having JK as your chancellor. Please don’t look back at J4 Magembe and Shcool Kawadog’s eras. When JK teams up with the nshomile he appointed thanks to political connection, surely, the UM will perform miraculously. Warning, shall any undesired results happen, don’t blame me that I didn’t tell you. Kaa chonjo guys.

Source: Guardian, Jan.,24, 2016.